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← BLC 244: Ethics, Boundaries & When to Refer

Module 6

Recognizing When to Refer and Making a Warm Referral

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14

Lesson

What You Will Learn

  • Explain why referral is faithfulness, not failure
  • Recognize red flags that call for immediate help or referral
  • Make a warm referral step by step
  • Build a local referral resource list

Lesson Notes

Referral Is Faithfulness

Moses' father-in-law told him, Thou art not able to perform it thyself alone (Exodus 18:18). The good Samaritan cared for the wounded man and then brought him to an inn, and took care of him (Luke 10:34), entrusting him to the host for further care. Referring someone does not mean you have failed her. It means you love her enough to bring in more help. In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Red Flags

Get help immediately (do not wait): talk of suicide or wanting to die; self-harm; threats to harm others; abuse of a child, elder, or vulnerable adult; domestic violence or fear for her safety; signs of psychosis such as hearing or seeing things others do not, or being very confused about what is real; severe withdrawal symptoms; any medical emergency.

Refer soon: sadness, worry, or sleep and eating problems that disrupt daily life for weeks; overwhelming memories of past trauma; alcohol or drug use; questions about medication or diagnosis; legal questions; housing or benefits needs; serious marriage or family crisis; anytime you feel over your head or your own past is stirred.

Not sure? Ask your ministry leader. You never have to decide alone.

The Warm Referral

A cold referral hands someone a phone number. A warm referral walks with her to the next helper:

  1. Explain why with care: You deserve someone with more training than I have.

  2. Ask permission to help connect her.

  3. Give specific information: name, phone, cost, and what to expect.

  4. Offer to help her make the call or go with her, if policy allows.

  5. Follow up with her permission and keep praying.

  6. Stay in her life within your role.

In an emergency, do not wait for permission. Get help immediately.

Building a Referral Resource List

Gather local resources before you need them, ideally with your ministry leader. Categories: emergency (911; 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), mental health crisis services, licensed counselors (Christian and others), medical clinics, substance use treatment and recovery groups, a domestic violence hotline or local shelter, legal aid, housing, food, employment, and re-entry services.

Verify each listing: call to confirm services, cost, hours, and eligibility. Review the list regularly and ask whether your church already has an approved list.

Key Terms

ItemDetails
ReferralConnecting someone to a person or service better equipped to help
Warm referralA personal handoff with explanation, permission, and follow-up
Cold referralSimply handing over a phone number
Red flagA sign that more help is needed now or soon
PsychosisSerious loss of touch with reality; needs professional help immediately

In-Class Activities

Red Flag Sort

Sort the ten statements into Get help now, Refer soon, or Keep walking alongside. Discuss any you disagree on with your group.

Warm or Cold?

Read the two short dialogues. Mark which is warm and which is cold, then rewrite the cold one as a warm referral using the six steps.

Assignment: Referral Resource Template

Create a referral resource template for your handbook with blanks to fill after release with your ministry leader:

  • Categories: emergency, crisis line, mental health, licensed counselors, medical, substance use, domestic violence, legal aid, housing, food, employment, re-entry, pastor/chaplain.
  • For each: Name ______ Phone ______ Address ______ Hours ______ Cost ______ Notes ______ Date verified ______.
  • Fill in 911 and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline now.

Graded with the Module Assignment Rubric.

Reflection Journal

Exodus 18:18 says, thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. Why can it be hard to admit we need others' help, for ourselves or for those we serve? What would it look like to see referral as love?

Prayer focus: Ask God for humility to refer and wisdom to recognize red flags.

Weekly Reading & Devotions

Bringing Her to the Inn

The good Samaritan did not do everything himself. He bound the man's wounds, then brought him to an inn, and took care of him (Luke 10:34). The next day he entrusted him to the host and promised to return. That is a picture of a warm referral: personal care, a handoff to the right help, and continued concern.

Some situations call for help right away: talk of suicide, self-harm, threats to harm others, abuse of a child or elder, domestic violence, signs of losing touch with reality, severe withdrawal, or a medical emergency. Others call for a referral soon: struggles that disrupt daily life for weeks, overwhelming trauma memories, substance use, medication or legal questions, or any time you feel over your head.

A cold referral hands someone a phone number. A warm referral explains why, asks permission, gives specific information, offers to help make the call, and follows up. In an emergency, you do not wait for permission; you get help immediately.

Start building your referral resource list now, even with blank lines. After release, fill it in with your ministry leader and verify each listing. Knowing where to send someone before a crisis comes is one of the most loving things you can do.

Think About It

  1. Why can referring feel like failing? ______________________
  2. Which red flags do you want to memorize? ______________________
  3. Who will help you fill in your referral list after release? ______________________

Daily Devotions for Week 6

Many Counsellors

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.— Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)

God never meant one person to carry everything. Safety comes through many helpers.

Reflect: Who are the counsellors in your life?

Pray: Lord, thank You for the helpers You provide.

Do: Name three people or places you would refer someone to.

Not Alone

Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.— Exodus 18:18 (KJV)

Even Moses needed help. Admitting limits protects both helper and helped.

Reflect: What are you trying to carry alone?

Pray: Lord, help me share the load.

Do: Ask for help with one task this week.

Brought to the Inn

And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.— Luke 10:34 (KJV)

The Samaritan cared and then connected the man to further care.

Reflect: Who might need you to walk with her to help?

Pray: Lord, make me a good neighbor.

Do: Practice the six warm referral steps.

Established Purposes

Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.— Proverbs 15:22 (KJV)

Plans hold firm when wise people speak into them.

Reflect: What plan needs more counsel?

Pray: Lord, lead me to wise counsel.

Do: Ask your ministry leader one question about referrals.

The Law of Christ

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.— Galatians 6:2 (KJV)

Bearing burdens includes knowing when to call in others to carry them with you.

Reflect: How has someone helped carry your burden?

Pray: Lord, teach me to bear burdens wisely.

Do: Thank someone who once connected you to help.

Module Quiz

  1. 1.

    Which calls for immediate help?

  2. 2.

    A warm referral includes:

  3. 3.

    Proverbs 11:14 says safety is found in:

  4. 4.

    In an emergency, a helper should wait for the person's permission before getting help.

  5. 5.

    Name four categories for a referral resource list.