“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.” — Matthew 5:37
Lesson
What You Will Learn
- Explain why boundaries are an act of love in prison ministry
- Name the core boundaries for correctional volunteers
- Explain why contact after release happens only through approved programs
- Say a kind and clear no and offer a safe alternative
Lesson Notes
Why Boundaries Are Love
Residents live under great pressure: loneliness, limited choices, and few people they can trust. A kind volunteer can quickly become very important to someone. That trust is a gift, and it carries a responsibility. Boundaries keep the relationship safe so that ministry can continue. They protect the resident, the volunteer, the staff, and the ministry's access.
Jesus said, Let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay. A clear, consistent answer is kinder than a maybe that leads to confusion or false hope.
The Core Boundaries
Always follow your facility's written policy. In general, correctional volunteers:
- No personal relationships: no romantic, business, or private friendships with residents. Ministry relationships happen within the approved program.
- No favors: do not make phone calls, send mail, look things up, deliver messages, or contact anyone on a resident's behalf.
- No gifts: do not give or receive gifts, money, or items of any kind, unless the chaplain has approved them for everyone (such as a program handout or a certificate).
- No personal contact information: do not share your phone number, address, email, or social media unless facility policy specifically allows it.
- No contact after release outside approved programs: if a resident is released, any continued connection happens only through an approved re-entry or mentoring program, and only as both the facility and the program allow.
- No side-taking: do not get involved in conflicts between residents or between residents and staff.
- No promises you cannot keep, especially about legal matters, release, or outside help.
When You Know Someone Inside
Sometimes a volunteer recognizes a resident: a family member, a neighbor, someone from her own past, or someone connected to her own case. Tell the chaplain right away. The facility may move you to a different unit or program, or ask you not to serve where that person is housed. Never use your volunteer role to visit, carry messages, or pass anything to someone you know. If you have a no-contact order with anyone, that order always applies.
A Kind and Clear No
A boundary is spoken with warmth: I care about you, and I'm not able to do that. Here is what I can do. Then offer something safe: prayer, a Scripture, a reminder of the chaplain's office, or an approved resource.
Speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) means both truth and love. A no without love feels like rejection; love without truth becomes unsafe. Hold both.
Key Terms
| Item | Details |
|---|---|
| Boundary | A clear limit that protects both the resident and the volunteer |
| Personal relationship | A private friendship, romance, or business connection outside the approved ministry role |
| Favor | Any task done for a resident outside the program, such as a call, message, or errand |
| Approved re-entry program | A program authorized to stay in contact with people after release |
| Conflict of interest | A situation where a personal connection could affect a volunteer's role |
In-Class Activities
Boundary Lights
Rate twelve situations Green (fine within policy), Yellow (ask the chaplain first), or Red (do not do). Examples: praying with a resident during the program; accepting a drawing a resident made for you; giving your email address; telling a resident you will look up her case; mentioning your church's name; writing to a resident after her release on your own.
Say It Kindly and Clearly
Write a kind and clear no for each request: Can I have your number for when I get out? Will you call my mom? I made this for you. Can you find out about my court date? Include a safe alternative each time.
Assignment: My Boundaries Statement
Write one page for your handbook:
- The seven core boundaries in your own words.
- What you will do if you recognize someone you know inside.
- Your policy on contact after release, with blanks for any approved re-entry program: ______________.
- Three kind and clear no statements you can say from memory.
- Matthew 5:37 written out with one sentence of application.
Graded with the Module Assignment Rubric.
Reflection Journal
Matthew 5:37 asks for a plain yes or no. When has a clear answer protected a relationship in your life? Which boundary will be hardest for you to keep, and what will help you keep it?
Prayer focus: Ask God for a loving heart and a clear voice, so that every boundary you keep protects the people you serve.
Weekly Reading & Devotions
A Kind and Clear No
Inside a facility, a kind volunteer can quickly become important to someone. Residents may be lonely, worried about family, or uncertain about the future. When they ask for help, it can feel unloving to say no. But boundaries are what keep the relationship safe enough to continue.
The core boundaries are simple: no personal relationships, no favors, no gifts, no sharing your contact information unless policy allows, no contact after release outside approved programs, no side-taking, and no promises you cannot keep. These rules protect the resident from pressure and false hope, protect you from accusations and rule violations, and protect the ministry's access.
Jesus said, Let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay. A clear answer is a gift. I care about you, and I'm not able to do that. Here is what I can do. Then offer something safe: prayer, Scripture, the chaplain's office, or an approved re-entry program.
If you ever recognize someone inside, a relative, a neighbor, or someone from your own past, tell the chaplain right away. You may be asked to serve in a different area. That is not punishment; it is wisdom that protects you both.
Think About It
- Which boundary will be hardest for you to keep? ______________________
- What kind and clear no can you say from memory? ______________________
- Why is a clear no sometimes more loving than a maybe? ______________________
Daily Devotions for Week 3
Yea and Nay
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.— Matthew 5:37 (KJV)
Clear answers protect people from confusion and false hope.
Reflect: Where do you need to say a clearer no?
Pray: Lord, give me clear and kind words.
Do: Practice one kind and clear no aloud.
Truth in Love
But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:— Ephesians 4:15 (KJV)
Truth without love wounds; love without truth is unsafe. Hold both.
Reflect: Which comes easier to you, truth or love?
Pray: Lord, let me speak truth in love.
Do: Say one honest thing gently today.
The Appearance of Evil
Abstain from all appearance of evil.— 1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV)
How things look matters for our witness and our ministry's access.
Reflect: Is there anything you do that could look wrong to others?
Pray: Lord, keep my conduct above reproach.
Do: Think through how one boundary protects both you and a resident.
Keep Thy Heart
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.— Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
Boundaries begin inside us, guarding our own hearts from unhealthy attachment.
Reflect: What is pulling on your heart right now?
Pray: Lord, help me guard my heart.
Do: Name one emotional boundary you will keep this week.
Such as I Have
Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.— Acts 3:6 (KJV)
We do not need to give favors or gifts to help. We give presence, prayer, and Christ.
Reflect: What can you give that is not a favor or a gift?
Pray: Lord, help me give what I truly have.
Do: Offer prayer or encouragement to someone today.
Module Quiz
- 1.
A resident asks for your phone number so she can call you after release. You should:
- 2.
Which is a favor a volunteer should not do?
- 3.
If you recognize a resident from your own past, you should:
- 4.
Volunteers may accept small gifts from residents if no one sees.
- 5.
Name four core boundaries for correctional volunteers.