Group Stages, Co-Leading, and Leader Self-Care

What You Will Learn

• Describe four stages of group life and how a leader serves in each
• Plan healthy co-leadership with clear roles and debriefs
• Recognize signs of leader burnout and compassion fatigue
• Build a realistic leader self-care plan rooted in Scripture

Lesson Notes

Stages of Group Life

Groups grow through seasons. This course uses four simple stages:

• Gathering: people are polite, cautious, and testing whether the group is safe. The leader provides clear structure, welcomes warmly, and models short, honest sharing.
• Testing: people push limits, disagree, or pull back. The leader stays calm, upholds the guidelines kindly, and does not take it personally.
• Working: trust grows, sharing deepens, and members encourage one another. The leader guides lightly and lets members carry more.
• Sending: members finish a series, graduate, transfer, or are released. The leader helps the group celebrate, grieve, and connect members to their next group.

Groups often move back and forth, especially when new members arrive. That is normal.

Two by Two

Jesus sent them two and two (Luke 10:1). A threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Co-leading means no one carries a group alone, a leader can step out in a crisis while the group continues, and leaders have accountability.

Agree on roles before each meeting: who opens, who teaches, who keeps time, who steps out if someone needs help. Never correct each other in front of the group. Debrief after every meeting: What went well? What concerns do we have? Does anyone need follow-up or referral? Co-leaders should be the same gender as the group and should both be under ministry oversight.

Jethro's Warning

Moses was judging the people from morning until evening. His father-in-law Jethro said, Thou wilt surely wear away... for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone (Exodus 18:18). Then he helped Moses share the load.

Group leaders hear heavy stories. Over time, this can lead to compassion fatigue: feeling numb, irritable, hopeless, unable to sleep, or pulling away from God and others. Leaders can also be tempted to neglect their own recovery while caring for others. Signs to watch: dreading meetings, thinking about members' problems constantly, returning to old patterns, or feeling that everything depends on you.

Leader Self-Care

Jesus told His tired disciples, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while (Mark 6:31). When Elijah was exhausted, God's first care was sleep and food: Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5). A leader's self-care plan includes:

• Her own recovery group or accountability partner, separate from the group she leads.
• Sabbath rest and regular sleep, food, and movement she enjoys.
• Prayer and Scripture for her own soul, not only for lesson preparation.
• Regular check-ins with a supervisor, pastor, or chaplain.
• Permission to step back for a season, and to see a doctor or counselor when needed.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

Key Terms

In-Class Activities

Name the Stage

Read eight composite group snapshots. Write which stage each group is in (Gathering, Testing, Working, or Sending) and one thing the leader should do next.

Co-Leader Agreement

In pairs, write a co-leader agreement on paper: roles for each part of the meeting, who steps out in a crisis, how you will give each other feedback privately, when and how you will debrief, and who your supervisor is (by role).

Assignment: Leader Self-Care Plan

Write a one-page self-care plan for yourself or a composite leader:

• Copy Exodus 18:18 or Mark 6:31.
• Five warning signs of compassion fatigue or burnout you would watch for.
• Your own support: recovery group, accountability partner, supervisor (by role).
• A weekly rhythm of rest, prayer, Scripture, sleep, and food.
• What you would do if you noticed yourself returning to old patterns, including seeing a doctor or counselor.
• A one-sentence permission statement to step back if needed.

Graded with the Module Assignment Rubric.

Reflection Journal

Jethro told Moses, thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. Where are you tempted to carry everything yourself? What would it look like to accept help and rest?

Prayer focus: Ask God to teach you to lead with others, to rest without guilt, and to keep your own heart with all diligence.

Too Heavy for Thee

Moses sat from morning until evening hearing the people's problems. His father-in-law Jethro watched and said, Thou wilt surely wear away... for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone (Exodus 18:18). Then he helped Moses share the load.

Groups grow through seasons: Gathering, when people are cautious; Testing, when they push limits; Working, when trust deepens; and Sending, when members move on. Groups often slide back to earlier stages when new people arrive. A steady leader is not surprised.

Jesus sent them two and two (Luke 10:1). Co-leaders share the load, cover for each other in a crisis, and keep each other accountable. They agree on roles beforehand, never correct each other in front of the group, and debrief after every meeting.

Leaders hear heavy stories, and over time that weight can wear them down. When Elijah was exhausted, God's first care was sleep and food: Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5). A wise leader keeps her own recovery support, rests on purpose, prays for her own soul, checks in with a supervisor, and sees a doctor or counselor when she needs to. Stepping back for a season is not failure. It is wisdom.

Think About It

1. Where are you carrying too much alone? ______________________
2. What kind of co-leader would you want beside you? ______________________
3. What does rest look like for you this week? ______________________

Daily Devotions for Week 7

Too Heavy Alone

Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.— Exodus 18:18 (KJV)

God never meant leaders to carry everything alone.

Reflect: What load could you share?

Pray: Lord, show me where to share the load.

Do: Ask for help with one task today.

Two and Two

After these things the Lord appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come.— Luke 10:1 (KJV)

Jesus sent His workers in pairs.

Reflect: Who is your partner in ministry or recovery?

Pray: Lord, thank You for partners on the road.

Do: Thank someone who walks beside you.

A Threefold Cord

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.— Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV)

With God woven in, partnerships hold.

Reflect: How is God part of your closest partnerships?

Pray: Lord, be the third strand in my relationships.

Do: Pray with a partner or for a partner today.

Rest a While

And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.— Mark 6:31 (KJV)

Jesus invites tired servants to rest.

Reflect: When will you rest this week?

Pray: Jesus, teach me to rest in You.

Do: Set aside one block of time for rest and keep it.

Arise and Eat

And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.— 1 Kings 19:5 (KJV)

God cares for our bodies as well as our souls.

Reflect: Are you sleeping and eating as you should?

Pray: Lord, thank You for caring for my whole self.

Do: Eat a meal slowly today and thank God for it.