“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Lesson
What You Will Learn
- Receive God's forgiveness as the foundation for forgiving others
- Explain what forgiveness is and what it is not
- Distinguish forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust
- Practice forgiving oneself in light of God's forgiveness
Lesson Notes
Forgiven First
Freedom Through Forgiveness begins with receiving. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12). Jesus said of the woman who washed His feet, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much (Luke 7:47).
We forgive even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). The more we understand how much we have been forgiven, the more able we become to forgive.
What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
Forgiveness is releasing a debt to God: choosing not to seek revenge and trusting Him with justice. Avenge not yourselves... for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:19).
- Forgiveness is not saying the harm was acceptable or small.
- It is not forgetting or pretending.
- It is not the same as reconciliation or trust.
- It does not remove legal consequences or require dropping a protective order.
- It is often a process, repeated many times. Peter asked about seven times; Jesus said seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22).
Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Trust
Forgiveness happens between you and God and can be given even if the other person never apologizes. Reconciliation needs both people and requires honesty and change. Trust is rebuilt slowly through consistent behavior over time.
A woman may fully forgive someone who harmed her and still keep firm boundaries, no contact, or legal protection. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18) recognizes that peace is not always possible or safe. Joseph forgave his brothers, but he tested them first (Genesis 42–45).
Forgiving Yourself
Many people in recovery say, I know God forgives me, but I can't forgive myself. If the Judge of all the earth has declared you forgiven, holding on to self-condemnation is not humility. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died (Romans 8:34).
Receiving forgiveness does not mean ignoring the harm you caused. It frees you to make things right where you can, which is the next stage of the path.
Key Terms
| Item | Details |
|---|---|
| Freedom Through Forgiveness | Stage 4: receiving God's forgiveness and extending it to others (Ephesians 4:32) |
| Forgiveness | Releasing a debt to God and giving up revenge |
| Reconciliation | Restoring a relationship, which requires both people and real change |
| Boundary | A healthy limit that protects safety and well-being |
In-Class Activities
Forgiveness Myths
Read ten statements about forgiveness. Mark each T (true) or M (myth) and correct each myth using a verse or idea from the lesson.
Three Doors
Draw three doors labeled Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Trust. Under each, write who is needed, what it requires, and how long it may take. Then read the composite case your instructor provides and write which doors are open and which should stay closed for now, and why.
Assignment: Forgiveness Letter (Not to Be Sent)
Write a letter that will not be sent. You may write to God about forgiving someone, to yourself, or to a composite person. Do not write to or about a victim of your case, and do not include case details.
- Name the hurt in general terms.
- Write what you are choosing to release to God.
- Write any boundaries that remain, if needed.
- Close with Ephesians 4:32 or Psalm 103:12.
Then write a half page: What is the difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust? You will turn in only the half-page reflection; keep the letter for yourself.
Graded with the Module Assignment Rubric.
Reflection Journal
Ephesians 4:32 calls us to forgive even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Where do you need to receive God's forgiveness more deeply? Is there anyone you are not yet ready to forgive? Tell God honestly. Forgiveness can be a process.
Prayer focus: Thank God for removing your sins as far as the east is from the west, and ask Him for grace to release others into His hands.
Weekly Reading & Devotions
Releasing the Debt
Forgiveness begins with receiving. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12). The more we understand how much God has forgiven us, the more we are able to forgive others even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).
Forgiveness is not pretending the harm was small. It is not forgetting, and it is not the same as trusting someone again. It is releasing the debt to God and trusting Him with justice. It is often a process. Jesus told Peter to forgive until seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22), which means as many times as it takes, even for the same hurt.
Reconciliation is different. It needs both people and real change. Trust is rebuilt slowly over time. A woman can forgive someone who hurt her and still keep firm boundaries, no contact, and any legal protection she needs. Joseph forgave his brothers, but he tested them before he trusted them.
For many of us, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. But if Christ has declared us forgiven, refusing to receive it is not humility. Receiving God's forgiveness frees us to take the next step: making things right where we safely can.
Think About It
- What is the difference between forgiveness and trust for you? ______________________
- Is there someone you are not yet ready to forgive? ______________________
- What would it mean to accept God's forgiveness for yourself? ______________________
Daily Devotions for Week 5
As Far as the East
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.— Psalm 103:12 (KJV)
God does not keep our forgiven sins close by. He removes them.
Reflect: What sin do you keep picking back up?
Pray: Lord, thank You for removing my sins so far away.
Do: Each time you remember a forgiven sin today, say thank You.
Even as God Forgave
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.— Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
We forgive from the overflow of what we have received.
Reflect: Whom might God be asking you to begin to forgive?
Pray: Lord, make my heart tender toward others.
Do: Pray for someone who hurt you, asking God to do what is right.
Seventy Times Seven
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.— Matthew 18:22 (KJV)
Forgiveness is often a process repeated many times.
Reflect: Is there a hurt you need to forgive again today?
Pray: Lord, help me forgive again when the hurt returns.
Do: When an old hurt comes to mind, release it to God again.
Vengeance Is Mine
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.— Romans 12:19 (KJV)
Forgiveness trusts God to handle justice.
Reflect: What justice do you need to trust God with?
Pray: Lord, I trust You to make things right.
Do: Write down one hurt and write God's hands beside it.
God Meant It for Good
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.— Genesis 50:20 (KJV)
Joseph named the evil honestly and still saw God's hand.
Reflect: Where might God bring good from something meant for harm?
Pray: Lord, redeem what was meant for evil.
Do: Thank God for one good thing He brought out of a hard season.
Module Quiz
- 1.
Ephesians 4:32 says we forgive:
- 2.
Which requires both people and real change?
- 3.
Jesus told Peter to forgive:
- 4.
Forgiving someone means you must drop a protective order and resume contact.
- 5.
Explain why forgiving yourself is not the same as ignoring harm you caused.